I’m watching project runway and first I must say what the hell is up with RuPaul. sHe looks awful! Ru what happened to the beautiful drag I saw at pride a few years ago. Her face is all sunken and jaggard.

But enough about RuPaul. That’s not why I’m here.

Tim Gunn made a comment to a contestant that he should tell the drag queen that he was designing for “that this isn’t your first time at the Rodeo”. Thank you Tim for quoting Mommy Dearest. It took me back to my own gays and reminded me how much i miss them.

I haven’t been to the gay bar in almost a month. For a professional Hag like me, that’s crazy.

I miss how the bartender would make my drink the second I walked in the door. (Of course he did. I drink the same thing every night and tip more than 20%.) I especially love how they call me Princess. I know they’re feeding my ego, but dammit i don’t care. I like a little but kissing with my cocktail.

As soon as this financial rut is over I’m heading straight to Central to have as many Fresca’s (Stoli Peach + Sprite) I can buy. Until then I will just have to settle for watching Bravo to get my fill of homosexual men.

First off, I don’t understand why I watch Bridezillas. It’s like an accident on the highway. You just can’t help but look.

I’m in a 2 year relationship, so anything related to weddings or getting married catches my eyes. But Bridezillas offers no advice on getting married. It’s like watching a wrestling match wrapped in taffeta.

These women are absolutely awful. They bitch and scream at every person that they claim to love. And who is the one person that takes the brunt of all the bitching? Their betrothed to be. I pray to god in heaven that this is all an act, but somehow I’m not so sure. With every episode I’m surprised that there aren’t more beat-downs given by the bridesmaids or parents. I don’t advocate violence, but everyone deserves to be bitched slapped every now and then.

Part of me wants to find these women, drive up to their houses in an unmarked van, and kidnap their husbands. I’d tell them to grow some balls, you don’t deserve to be talked to this way. I’m all for girl power but this is ridiculous.

Side note: I was watching MTV (sad I know. I’m 28 years old and still watching MTV) and they now have a show called Exiled. No it’s not another dating show. They’re taking those brats from Sweet Sixteen and shipping them off to Africa to live with a tribe. HAHA!! I can’t wait. It’s karma in the form of a reality show.

Edited to include: Dude I’m so gonna love Exile. One chick is being sent to the freakin’ FROZEN TUNDRA. HAHAHAHA!!

Martini in hand I write my first post.

Let’s not be coy about this. I can sit and pretend that we’re just two friends talking and that this is not just another blog. But this is just another blog. I’m not going to act as if I am the greatest wordsmith ever and that you will be captivated by my random thoughts. No, this is just a means to get all those random and rampant thoughts out of my head and on to a board. Perhaps this will quiet the voice. Not that I’m crazy! Honest!

So cheers. Here’s to my new life as a blogger. May it be filled with random goodness!