(edited for typos.)

It’s happy hour at Tipsy Nikki’s. And I’ve got quite the buzz, so excuse the typos. I hate Halloween. Halloween brings up too many bad childhood memories. But what I do love are horror movies. Every Halloween I’d stay at home while my mom took my sister to some elementary school party and I’d hand out candy. I always had a cut off time. The time where I’d shut off all the lights and pretended not to be home. I also made sure that I saved some of the best candy bars for myself. I had the system down by senior year.

I grew up on Nightmare Theatre every Saturday afternoon (it came on right after Kung Fu theatre, which I also watched religiously). I also love Stephen King novels. So I’m not shy when it comes to horror or the macabre.

So in the name of Halloween, I present the Tipsy Nikki’s Top Horror Films list. I have to go backwards, because you always think of the best last.

Tipsy Nikki’s Top Horror Films
(remember what scares me, may not scare you. Plus I’ve been drinking.)

25. Gremlins - okay laugh all you want. But it took me 11 years to realize that this film was supposed to be funny. I wasn’t laughing. I still hate the holiday song Do you hear what i hear?.

24. Child’s Play – first time I saw this movie I was eight and I believe it was a bootleg copy. I was frightened out of my mind. Dude? I’m was a child, I loved my dolls. The thought that they’d come alive and kill me chilled me to the bone. Teddy Ruskin was very popular at the time and a cousin had one. I never liked that bear after seeing Child’s Play.

23. Alice Sweet Alice - I saw this movie as a child (as with most of these movies). It was right around the time that I got baptized that I first saw this film (I was baptized very late in life and now believe that it was a complete waste of time, but anyway…). I’m pretty sure that this movie is responsible for my decent from Christianity. Yeah that’s right I blame you Brooks Shields!

22. HellRaiser – Once again I was about seven years old when this movie came out. Don’t remember much but I do remember that cube thing that raises hell. Never touched a rubix cube again.

Pause – where was my mother during all of this? Why was I, a small child exposed to all these movies. – Unpause

21. Carrie - The one superpower I have always wanted is telekinesis. Screw being able to fly. I wanna be able to move things with my mind. It’s the lazy mans dream come true. I love movies based on Stephen King novels. The movie slowly builds to the climactic scene at the prom where Carrie goes ape-shit. I can’t blame the girl. If someone dropped pigs blood on me, who knows what I’d do. And then there’s the scene at the end, where the chick places the flowers on the grave and Carrie’s hand comes out of the grave. The best.

20. Nightmare on Elm Street - just pick one. Freddy Kruger haunted my life for a decade. Then there’s that poem…One, two Freddy’s coming for you…still gets me.

19. The Birds - I never did trust pigeons. Or seagulls.

18. Arachnophobia - I hate spiders. I kept hitting myself through out the entire movie because I swore something was crawling on me.

17. The ring - I watched this with my younger sister. Neither one of us were particarly scared until the end. There we were sitting on the bedroom floor, only slightly creeped out. When just as the movie ended, the telephone rang. We both jumped and yelled at the top of our lungs. It turned out to be my mother calling.

16. The Omen - I’m pretty sure this is why I don’t like children.

15. Event Horizon - A haunted space station. Sci-fi and horror combined. I love the fact that you actually have the think in order to understand the film.

14. Pet Semetary - Pet Semetary is the only book that I’ve started that I couldn’t finish. The movie maybe didn’t quite give the same effect as the book but once again killer kid equals creepy.

13. Village of the Damned - Blond haired, blue eyed kids still give me the creeps.

12. Jaws - The livelihood of a shark with a vengeance is very slim. But maybe perhaps this movie has something to do with why I can’t swim.

11. Silence of the lambs - You say the word Chianti and I still want to wretch.

10. Saw - Love this movie! Love the series, despite the fact that they are progressively going down hill with each movie. At the end of saw I actually laughed because of the mind blowing complication of it all. Just when I thought that horror movies were dead, along came saw.

9. 28 Days Later - Jay, my boyfriend, loves to watch shows about how the world is going to come to an end. I’ve made him promise me that we will be together no matter on December 12, 2012. This is the day that the Sun is supposed to collide with it’s evil twin. (google it if you don’t get it.) So this movie creeped me out because I thought maybe the world doesn’t come to an end, maybe we all just eat each other. Also loved 28 Weeks Later and praying for 28 Months Later.

8. The Shining - Jack Nicholson still kind of scares me. I keep expecting him to go crazy and try to kill someone. Plus, once again there’s this creepy little kid on a big wheel. If you like this movie, the book is better. Thanks again Stephen King.

9. The Dolls - an old creepy house filled with those ceramic dolls that you buy off of QVC. The Dolls come to life and kill everyone. I put all my dolls and bears in the closet after watching this movie. I still hate ceramic dolls.

8. The Exorcist - there’s something about a young girl that’s on the cusp of womanhood being possessed by the devil. And a priest questioning his faith. Part of me believes that this movie is like social commentary about the faith and purity. (wow, that was actually profound. I need to drink more.)

7. I am Legend - I actually locked the bedroom door after watching this movie. Once again its the thought that something that is supposed to save us actually destroys us. Jay also didn’t help pretending to try to eat me. Thanks a lot hon!

6. It - I watched this when I was 13 and so my mom bought me the book. This was my first introduction to Stephen King. Take something that scares the beejeesus out of us all, a clown, and combine it with a group of kids that represents the children in us all, equals classic.

5. Creepshow – Several eerie stories that still stays with me. This movie spawned a short lived late night show that I watched every night. The part the gets me is the meteor that caused a weird green grass to grow on everything you touch. Stephen King stared in this scene and does an awesome job.

4. Deliverance - Hello?!! Squeal like a pig?

3. Poltergiest - This movie kept me away from the television for weeks. Thanks mom!

2. Seven - Using our sins to scare the crap out of us. And the ending? What would you do? Kill or let him suffer in jail. I never liked Brad Pitt till this movie.

1. Children of the Corn - Did you see a pattern here? Children scare me. They are not to be trusted. I still get the willies when I pass by rows of corn. Sadly Stephen King wrote this as a short story. I would love for him to go back and stretch it to a full length novel.

Some friends invited me to a NoFX concert tonight. It was the perfect distraction from all the health issues. It was also quite interesting drinking while on percocets. Thankfully I only got a bit buzzed. But more importantly I had no pain. It was nice to feel normal again. I haven’t felt that in the last month. On the way home I found this Jack O’ Latern on top of a trash can. You find the strangest things when you live in the city.