Well kids I’m back on Diary.

I’m home with nothing to eat but a couple slices of wheat bread and cheerios. I have a ongoing health issue that decided to rear its ugly head last night, and thus can not move much today. So going to the grocery store is out. And I hate ordering food over the phone, I always forget something and, to be honest, hate dealing with people.

Enter Papa Johns and the ability to order online. I went a little hog wild and ordered an Extra Large and sides. (But a dollar goes to St. Judes Hospital, so at least I’m contributing to charity.)

So to sum up I made it 14 days, lost two pounds, and had seven dairy related dreams.

Join me next time when I’m sure to give up some other random food group.

Your Pseudo-Vegetarian,
Nikki

It’s day twelve and I’m in hell. I don’t think I’m gonna be able to last much longer. I’m hoping to last until Thanksgiving but dude this is getting hard. I’m starting to wonder if there is a correlation between brain function and milk. It’s not like I was a genius before this fast, but I’ve been doing some stupid crap lately.

For instance I walked into the wrong apartment the other day. I got off the elevator and walked to what I thought was my apartment. Outside the door was a beautiful black cat with white paws. He lifted his head for a moment and then decided that I was not worth moving and put his head back down.

Why is there a cat outside my door, I thought. Yay, maybe Jay has changed his mind about letting me have a cat. Maybe he’s a present.

I turned to walk into the apartment and found the door ajar.

Huh, that’s weird. Why would Jay leave the door open? Why would he leave my new pet kitty, who I shall name Stewart, sitting in the hallway?

As I step through the door I glance at the number and realize that ‘dude, this isn’t my place’. I hurried back to the elevator before the resident of my bizarro apartment could find me. I’m still disappointed that I didn’t get a cat.

We visited with Jay’s family this past weekend and his mom asks me “why on earth would you give up dairy.” My response? “Cause I wanna…”

If I’m gonna continue this I need to come up with a good enough reason. So I visited the website Milk Sucks. Though I was disgusted and grossed out it still didn’t erase the beautiful pleasure of eating a slice of sharp Vermont cheddar. Mmmmm…Vermont Cheddar!

Jay’s Mom has warned me that if I keep this up I may not be invited back for dinner. Which saddens me because Jay’s Mom is such a delight and I am so lucky to have found a guy whose mother is so endearing. (HI MRS. D!!! Hope you like the site.)

Tomorrow marks one week since I’ve given up dairy. I’m conflicted as to whether I want to embrace milk again or to continue my milk free lifestyle a little while longer. So I’ve decided to do what I always do when faced with a dilemma, create a pro-con list.

Pros of Staying Milk Free
1. I don’t snack as much as I used to. I eat me three meals and a couple of snacks and that’s it.

2.I’ve also gotten rid of some…eh em…how do I put this?…some abdominal issues. Basicly (warning: TMI ahead) I’ve been pooping everyday. Vegans must be super regular.

3. Another added bonus is that I’ve lost 2 pounds since starting this adventure. How about that? This could just be because of all the pooping.

Cons of Staying Milk Free
1. Cheese
2. Pizza
3. Cookies
4. Cake
5. Ice Cream
6. Cup Cakes (ok so this is just small cake, but who cares I miss it)
7. Anything squishy and delicious (they just all seem to have milk in them)

I’m still confused. So we’ll see.

to be continued…

Being a vegetarian is hard. Don’t let them bullshit you into thinking it’s not. It takes dedication, which I don’t have. Passion for animals and not just the cute ones. And it takes money. That is the thing they don’t tell you. Veggie burgers and tofu are not cheap. For the price of one box of veggie burgers I can buy five items off the dollar menu at McDonalds. That’s six chicken nuggets, two cheese burgers, a parfait and a side of fries.

Still I try. And occasionally I fail. But I am consistent if only in my many attempts to stay veggie. So that in itself should score me some points. Right?

To make matters worse, I’m currently trying to live milk free. That’s no milk in anything. I made this decision while on pain killers, if any of you were wondering if I’m high on something. But I don’t back down from a challenge. Even a challenge made to myself.

How is living milk free going? Not so good. I love cheese. I adore it. I’ve had meals consisting only of cheese. I’ve sung songs about cheese to cheese. I worship the cracker that cheese sits on.

I woke up from a nap on Sunday to the smell of cheese. I walked into the kitchen and saw a pizza on the stove. I walked into the living room to find Jay eating a slice of pizza.

“Is that pizza?”, I ask.

“Mmm mmm. six cheese pizza.”, he says with his mouth full.

“It smells good.”

“Mmm mmm.”

“Does it taste good?”

“Mmmm mmm.”

I lowered my head and went back to bed. I give myself a week and then I’m hitting the dairy isle with a vengence.

So while visiting the blog of my favorite author Jen Lancaster, I came to learn of PETA’s attempt to convince the ice cream lords, Ben and Jerry, to use human breast milk in their ice cream. I had to see this for myself, so I went to PETA‘s site. Apparently there is this restaurant in Switzerland that has decided to use human breast milk in its entrees. Thus giving PETA the genius idea of writing to B&J.

I would be behind this if I thought that PETA was trying to point out the absurdity in the use of cow’s milk by presenting it with (what they’d consider to be) an equally absurd idea. But I don’t think they’re joking.

If PETA is all for the ethical treatment of animals, then wouldn’t they be against women needlessly pumping themselves for capital gain? If forcing a cow to pump 10 times more milk than usual is cruel, wouldn’t the same be true of humans?

PETA why not promote soy milk or some other organic alternative? Why must we always jump to the extreme in order to prove a point.

But this has got me thinking. (so ok PETA I guess your craziness is slightly effective) Reading about the treatment of dairy cows makes me want give up milk by-products. Can I do it? If you knew how much I love cheese, you’d be doubting me as well. Well only one way to find out. Game on…starting saturday. (I gotta lot of dairy in my fridge to eat in three days.)