Brace yourselves…I accidentally ate bacon the other day.

I know, I know. Your thinking Nikki how could you? But before you start lecturing let me explain.

I was at a St. Pat’s party and there were assorted cheeses. Everyone knows how much I love my cheese. Without thinking or bothering to read the little sign my hostess placed next to the cheese, I popped a slice in my mouth. And boy was it ever good. Later I went back to the cheese plate and noticed the sign next to my new favorite cheese, “Cheddar with Bacon”. WHAT!!!

God, no wonder it was so good.

All night it called to me. Nikki, you know you want to eat me.

I beg could someone out there please create a faux bacon that tastes as good as the real thing. Please? This can’t keep happening to me. Once I get a taste, it’s hard to walk away.

Does anyone else think that it’s funny that the vegetarian has just as many posts about bacon as she does about vegetables?

Hi, my name is Nikki and it has been 180 days since I last ate meat.

My Granny passed away in February. The morning after her death, Jay was in the kitchen making us breakfast. I was sitting quietly thinking of Grandmother’s death the night before. Though I had broke into tears when she originally became ill, I was a pillar of strength after she died.

Jay will never be a vegetarian. He loves his meat and I’m surprised if I ever see him eating a vegetable. The week after he moved in, I found a large ham sitting in my fridge. I felt violated. Now I’m no longer surprised to see box upon box of hamburgers and hot dogs. He is what he is and I love him anyway.

On this particular morning Jay had had a craving for bacon. As I sat in the living room thinking of my Granny, my thoughts kept getting interrupted by the smell of sizzling bacon. It wafted into the living room tickling my taste buds and distracted me from the mourning I should have been experiencing.

I became a vegetarian approximately four years ago. I had started Weight Watchers and noticed that non-meat products were fewer points. I then got the idea I’d become a vegetarian. I read book after book before settling on the decision. I had never been a big meat eater. I would go days or weeks without a bite of meat. It wasn’t until I’d experience some dizziness that I’d pick up some protein. But I’ve always had one meaty weakness, Bacon.

In college I added Bacon to everything. I once ordered a Veggie Burger with cheddar cheese and bacon at our school pub. The kid calling out the order had to do a double take. And I recall some snickering. The real vegetarians eyed me with looks of contempt and disbelief. But I didn’t care. It was the best damn veggie burger I ever had. (Side note: I put on 25lbs that year.)

So as I sat there trying to focus on my grief, I couldn’t help but reminisce how tasty bacon is. I thought about all the nights I’d come home after a night of drinking and fry up a couple of strips. I thought of all the BLT’s and the salads with bacon bits. My mouth began to salivate at the thought of its salty crunchy goodness, and how perfect they go with a plate of eggs. Bacon, after all, is eggs best friend.

As we ate, my eyes were fixated on Jay and his bacon. Part of me wanted to dive across the room and grab the bacon out of his fingers. I also came to hate him a little. How dare he move in here and tempt me with meat. I was doing great until he moved in. I hadn’t had any meat since last new year’s when I accidentally ate an egg roll with pork in it. He should be supporting me, not sitting here waving his bacon in my face.

My will power made it through breakfast. But after breakfast Jay had to go to his parents and left me alone with half a pound of cooked bacon sitting in the kitchen. I couldn’t believe that he had cooked the entire package. Who does that?!

I stood there in the kitchen staring at the plate of greasy fatty meat. It mocked me. Called to me. And then in a flash my will power was gone. Before I could stop to think, I ate the whole plate Cookie Monster style. There was no way to cover up what I’d done. We don’t have a dog and the grease was all over my face and hands…and shirt. Jay was shocked that my will power had broken and that I could eat that much.

I dedicated that plate of Bacon to my Granny. She would have wanted me to have it. And God was it good!

I did end up regretting it later. The bacon did not sit well in my tummy. The fatty grease was a shock to my system. No more bacon for me. At least not for another four years.