I was a latchkey kid growing up. My mom was working and going to school. So I was home alone for at least an hour or two in the afternoon.

And I loved it.

Almost immediately after school I would head to the neighborhood convenience store. I’d buy candy and snack cakes, then eagerly head home to watch afternoon cartoons.

I had a routine. I’d make it home in time to watch Punky Brewster, followed by Duck Tales and Rescue Rangers. I’d sit there with my candy and snacks and just veg out. (I once chewed 5 Super Bubbles at once and blew the biggest bubble I’d ever seen. I was sure that was some kind of record.) If I didn’t have any money, I’d create my own snacks. My favorite g0to was Peanut Butter and Frosted Flakes. I’d mix the two together then make little balls. It was sugary perfection. Or I’d take pieces of bread and smear butter on them until I couldn’t see the white of the bread.  And everyone wondered why I was a fat child.

The routine that I started in grade school has carried into my adult years. I’d still come home and go straight to the kitchen. Granted I’ve given up candy and I’m not much of a peanut butter fan anymore, but the outcome was still the same. I’d come home have some snacks, dinner, then sit in front of the TV (and the laptop) for the next four or five hours.

Having flashbacks of my chubby childhood and seeing how much I haven’t changed has motivated me. Now when I come home I go straight to my closet and change into my workout gear. Instead of zoning out on the couch in front of the TV, I zone out on the treadmill…still in front of a TV. But at least I’m moving.

I’ve also given up the white stuff…sugar. No more soft and squishy chocolate chip cookies. Instead it’s fruit and protein bars. Although as an adult I’m much more into the salty snacks. Chips are my ultimate weakness.  I can’t bring a bag home without wanting to finish it in one sitting. So instead of chips, I eat pretzels. No desire to pig out on pretzels.

I’ve decided to learn from the past, rather than have it haunt me.