It’s not that I’m anti-baby. I’m just anti-me-having-a-baby.

I remember when I was younger I would play with my cabbage patch doll Kristie Mae or Kelly Ann or whatever the heck her name was. I would dress her up in little outfits and do her hair. I had a stroller to cart her around in and we even had matching rain slickers. It was fun for a while, but then we got a Nintendo and I was introduced to a plumber named Mario.

This story kind of represents how I feel about babies now. Their cute in their little outfits and I can’t help but say “Ahh”. But after that I’m not interested.

I went out for a drink with a friend of mine last night and she kept mentioning how she planned to be pregnant in the next two years. Every time she mentioned the word baby I took a drink. My baby-free zone was being invaded.

I then went to visit my younger sister today to wish her a happy birthday and was able to see my nephew. I played with him for a bit but was ready to hand him back not long after.

These two incidents got me wondering. Is there a support group for people who don’t want kids?

For years I felt like I should be ashamed for not wanting children, but then I realized that being a parent isn’t for everyone. And so what if I don’t enjoy playing peek-a-boo or blowing on tummies.

It’s time for those of us that just aren’t kid people got together and proclaimed that it’s okay not to want kids. We could meet and spend our time not talking about kids.

And if I ever get the urge to play patty cake, I’ll still have my breeder friends. I’ll buy their kids cute little outfits and as the kid gets older I’ll be fun aunt Nikki that brings them candy and leaves before the sugar has a chance to kick in. I’ll spoil them rotten and be there to buy them their first drink when they turn Twenty-One. But I’ll have my support group when their mother’s want me to babysit or attend their kids’ recitals and I have to smile and pretend that the kid was amazing, while all the while wanting to bury their clarinet somewhere that they’ll never find it.

So to all you ladies and gents out there that have no desire to be mom’s and dad’s, join me. Lift your heads up high and shout with pride “TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT. I DON’T WANT TO PROCREATE!”