I LOVE Penguins.

Penguins were my sorority mascot. Since graduation, 6 years ago, I haven’t participated in any sorority stuff. But I still love penguins.

They’re so cute and adorable. How could you not love them?

Anyone who knows me, knows my fascination with everything penguin. There is at lease 1 penguin in every room of our apartment. Every time I see a penguin I feel the need to squeal penguin! in a high pitch voice. Annoying? I know.

So for my birthday, Jay’s parents, bought me a set of glass penguins from Fire & Ice. They are so cute. I squealed with every penguin I unwrapped. Until I got to the bigger penguin of the set. It’s at least tree inches tall and is made of beautiful blue and white glass. As I admired the figurine I notice a little black round blob at the bottom of the penguin’s belly. A long slender piece of glass stuck out of the center of the blob. On either side of the stick are two little round dots.

I immediately became uncomfortable. Why would Jay’s parent buy me something like this. I couldn’t wait to show Jay and see his reaction.

“Soooo, did you see the penguin your mom and dad got me?”

“Yeah, they’re cute.”

“Aaaaand did you notice anything about the big one?” I stood there in anticipation. I couldn’t wait for him to confirm my reaction about the penguin.

“It’s nice”, he says.

I wasn’t satisfied. So I grabbed the penguin figure off the bar. “What do you think of this?” I ask pointing to the protrusion.

“It’s cute. It’s a little baby.”

“A what?!” I stare at the blob in the penguins crotch and slowly I began to see it. The protrusion? Is a beak. The dots? The baby’s eyes.

“Yeah he’s sitting on a baby keeping it warm. What ya think it was?”

“Ummm, nothing.” I tried to play off the fact that I didn’t see the baby. Jay just shakes his head and walks away. I thought I was safe until he came back in the room.

“You thought it was a penis?! Didn’t you?!”

“Well, it’s in his crotch and its long and pointy. What was I supposed to think?”

Jay looks at me with disbeleif. “You little pervert.”

“What? It’s an honest mistake. ”

I’m never going to live this down. To make matters worse. He told his parents. His mom couldn’t stop laughing at me. Her goal now is to actually find a penguin with a penis. Just for me.

I can’t wait.